| 6 months? |
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| 02:24am 07/08/2007 |
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ha yeah wish i had the will power to use this all the time.
i use myspace blogs a lot.
just cause people will actually read them.
mmm. yeah i miss lj. lj used to be so fly. then eurrbody got myspace. and although i said i hated it, myspace blogs are bomb.
ha.
today. today i worked.
all day. and it was kind of lame. well pretty lame. i'm off tomorrow. i don't know what i'll do. probably hang out with steevie. and
maybe maybe i'll do something exciting.
between lunch and dinner. i went to sonic and copped a banana chocolate milkshake. dom angel his sister and rick met we there and we chilled. and talked. nothing to sweet. and then i worked came home. went to steevies came home, here i am.
my oh my. i wish i wish that i didn't have to work. and my mother was filthy filthy rich. or that i just haad finished high school and never got cut off. weak. i still need to get up on that. 4 years ago. i was thinkin jesus chriist i'm never gonna graduate. oh my how time flew. and how i didn't graduate. ha i used to be so smart. and well time flew. but it really didn't you know. ha
um tomorrow i think i'll clean.
i think i'll write a letter.
and i'll send the two that have been sitting on my night stand. sealed. addressed. not stamped. not sent. this is me these days.
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| megaman |
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| 05:19pm 17/02/2007 |
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did you ever watch megaman? i was just thinkin about that shit.
today was chill. woke up at jenna's to a bunch of beautiful people. dehydrated, and with the slightest hang over. went to BAGEL BAGEL! with jessie and killa. it was chill. good onion bagels there. and then i came home showered. straightened half my head and my flat iron stopped working. just bought it too. wtf right. so went and bought another and am gonna stick the malfunctioning one in there and return. cause i'm an idiot and can't find the recent and threw out the old one. anywho, work is gay. Tim gave me another raise but i had to work a friday night by myself. so many side jobs, dishes and mother fuckin yakisoba to be taken care of. good thing i left early, cause i woulda been in the worst mood to have to close that bitch. 10pm two carts of dishes, as well as 3 sinkfulls of crap. and floors to mop. shit to wipe down. sushi bar crap to do. blah blah i would have been angry. but i left at 1015 and it was all good |
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| blah blah blah |
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| 02:35am 12/02/2007 |
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music: Backseat Goodbye - Hey
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i never use this thing anymore.
ha once every 6 or 7 months?
i miss lj. fuck myspace taking over. i was looking at past ljs
from like freshman year. and beginning of sophomore year. i was so lame. and ugly. lol most of the pictures are gone now. i definitly miss those days. much simpler. older. all i ever wanted was to get older. and though there were signs you never really realize how much more complicated things get with everyday. we'll figure it out though right.
so the plan these days is for mah ged. ugh that sounds so gross. but all that matters is what comes after. i'm definitly not going to settle for that alone. when i was youger i used to always watch the health channel. i wanted to be a doctor. then high school came, and i was like fuck all this school shit. damn. but in the past few months i've found that's what i still want. i want to go into surgery. so i'll be 25 before i finish school. damn. not to mention 250 thousand dollars in debt. maybe more. but back to the plan, i've planned for hcc for a year then probably go to usf. be premed. bust my ass like i should have done in high school, even though i still did rather well. but do better. get into a good as med school. and find the perfect fellowship. maybe even at duke which would be amazingly hard to get, but i've got my sights set on it. maybe even attend duke med school. blah blah blah.
i'm good. i'm bored. but i'm good. all i do is drive marco to school, my mom to work. pick them up and sleep all day. maybe work a few days a week cause we've only got one car now that marco's is wrecked. and i never got one since i never even got my permit. so pretty much i'm just bored as hell. i would be happier if i was actually doing something. working at least. but i'm alright |
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| so today i chilled |
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| 03:24am 26/06/2006 |
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and it was definetly chill.
I slept in til about two.
then went to work. i work at sushi ko now.
I love it. prep cook. but it's still great. the pay is better than sonic. and it's less stressful and more enjoyable.
i wanna go to miami next week with ash. buttt i dunno if that's gonna happen. we get paid the day after we were planning on coming back. i thought we'd get paid before. so hopefully i can get someone to lend me some money for a few days.
i wanna go to texas to. but i dunno i think i'm gonna miss out on that again this summer. i definetly need to see people. but i dunno if i'm ready to go back yet. i left for a reason, and i am not sure I'm ready to face it yet. |
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| Love's an excuse to get hurt. |
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| 07:41pm 29/05/2006 |
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music: Ben Kweller - On My Way
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Happy Memorial Day!
yeah. i don't think we pay enough tribute to those who have given so much for us and our country. but that's another story
today i went to my grandparents house for bbq and family. and family friends. My uncle osvaldo came down to visit. he's hilarious. and I love his girl she's fun. and their baby is a bad ass. and has fuckin sick eyes. I'd steal them if i could. my sister and nephew left this morning. I'm glad they were here. makes me miss texas a lot less. and now I'm just waiting to see what the night will bring. hopefully drugs or alcohol of some type.
I could go for some everclear and grape juice. or 99 and sparks.
whatever will get me drunk.
I've been thinking a lot about wtf I'm gonna do. I guess I'm going back to high school. I'd like to stay here. but I want to go be the bad ass debater i shoulda been in texas and get my muh fuckin liscense before i graduate lol. and then I'd just like to get my ged and start at IADT to get a degree cause it doesn't really matter. only thing stopping me is no liscense. ugh. everyone is telling me what to do. I'm trying to figure out what I want to do. but there's so much noise it's hard to tell what that is.
I'd like to just go back to the begining of the school year. and just not try to graduate early. that would have made everything easier. I wouldn't have had 6 months of nonstop stress and online courses. and i wouldn't have dropped out and a bunch of half credits. I'd probably be in texas though. the only thing that stopped me from going to live with james was the fact that I COULD HAVE graduated. but then i didn't so i feel i might've wasted time. but more. i did. I don't know.
My lifes looking like a mess to me right now. and I'm waiting to figure out how to put it back together. for today. and for tomorrow.
I'm liking Ben Kweller a lot these days.
you should listen to him. |
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| back |
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| 07:17am 05/05/2006 |
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music: Ben Kweller - On My Way
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dude, I need to use LJ more. I love LJ.
I miss LJ. I need a camera though so my shit ain't so boring.
I need a job.
so I can make money for a camera. AND A FUCKING BUS TICKET!
I need to get to san antonio. before I like kill myself. well I won't do that...
but I'm seriously like going crazy here.
there's a lot of shit i need to try and fix, get away from, and resolve.
my plan is to go for the summer. but we know how that goes. I've been dissapointed about 100 times.
pfft. this is a warm up post. I'm soooo getting back into lj |
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| 09:38pm 24/01/2006 |
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HI MY NAME IS BERT I'M HERE TO WAAARRRSSHHHHHH YO VAGINA!
ha ha that was the best myspace name ever. I'm sorry but it was!
I miss it. lol so this week. hmmm nothing is going on really. I might go to porneoke tomorrow or somethin but that's about it. and then what else. school? yeah that's lame but a lot better than last semester I suppose. only three classes. who can complain. except about my lack of anything to do. I wish pet city would hire me so I could make money while wasting my days and work at a job I'm sure I'd like. I love pets shitt. I'm listening to The Get Up Kids. it's good. and Girlfriends is on Tv. that show about the black girls? ha ha it's not ver funny or anything. gee I wish I had more to talk about.
life is pretty pointless right now besides school. seriously. no job. just alcohol. and hangoutage. a few relationships. hmmm i need a kickstart. who's got one? |
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| 05:42am 13/01/2006 |
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music: The Get Up Kids - Wouldn't Belive It
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egh lately I haven't been up to much. just school and partying and stuff.
and there was winter break. marco moved down here. it's been a lot of fun. we've hung out a lot. and introduced him to a lot of my friends so at this point we pretty much party with the same people which is cool. i just relaxed all break. it was a good one. I needed the rest. I'm finally caught up in spanish. i've been significantly behind for like 3 months. at one point i was 10 weeks behind but I'm finally where i need to be and it feels fucking awesome! a lot less stress. and I also got all my online courses I wanted so this semester I only have 3 classes at LOL and I will be graduating for sure as long as I stay on top of things.
great start to a new year despite some things I've been thinking about a lot. one more semester. it's good |
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| 08:40pm 27/12/2005 |
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haven't updated my lj in forever. oh well. sorry.
so it's the holidays. sweet. I hope everyones was pretty sick. mine was cool. I got a sidekick and some clothes. and my brother came down and we have had fun partying. I've met a lot of cool people in the passed week or two. and I'm sure i'll meet a lot more over the next two weeks. no school til the 10th. I don't know what I'm gonna do with my self. besides be drunk probably.
a lot of things are good right now, and a lot are not so good. I'm really tired cause i don't get as much sleep as I should, and when I do sleep it's not very good. I'm just in a wierd place right now. egh.
how is evryone? |
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| 07:46pm 14/11/2005 |
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mood:  good music: The Rocket Summer - Goodbye Waves And Driveways
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hey guys :-)
how are you?
I'm doing ok.
today was extremly stressful. ya know. I woke up. decided I didn't want to go to school, and then I went back to bed and woke up at noon. then did some myspace. and some spanish. then I just went and hung out with brad, and steevie and ashley. and then I came home and ate meat like a carnivore and now I'm just chillen. ha ha. soooo stressed out, can't you tell? :-P
so I made a sweet shirt.
I like it
it's from an armor for sleep song. it says the milkyway can't wait and a billion stars, niether of which you can't see, but the rocket looks really nice. it's really big. it's perfect.
so I stayed home last night cause I didn't really sleep. just thinking about stupid stuff. basically. I wish it were christmas already so I can go to texas, see mona and james and kathy and my bro and sis and nephew. I want to hang out with shark girl (chaleigh) and hancock. I want to go to the movies with the twins, and I want to eat taco cabana with sally and bekkah.
I want to go to first friday. but I'm not gonna be in town long enough.
I decided not to be ryan's friend. whether that lasts or not, right now all I can think is why not sooner. too much crap. we haven't been friends for a long time.
now i feel like there's this big void though. best friend replacement isn't easy. who do I talkkkk to and shit. the hang out thing isn't so big, cause never saw the nigga either way. i guess it's good that I don't have to be trippin about my friend anymore. or. it should. I don't know. still kind of confused about the whole bit. he's stil my brotha from another motha but we shoulda been done with eachother a long time ago. we used to hang out all the time. we had fun. and our fun ran out pretty much that spring, don't know why we've talked for so long.
anywho. this week. I don't think I'm going to porneoke. I'd like to very much. but yeah, I should get back to a decent sleep schedule. this sleep 3 hours go to school come home sleep three more doesn't seem to be working for me. it's fucking me on the homework and online course shit. no joke. I'm always to tired to work. and I think I'm gonna chill out on the getting drunk everyweekend cause that doesn't help. after regans this weekend I think I'm gonna just stop drinking alcohol for a while. it's probably a damn god idea. I shouldn't drink at all.
we'll see how that works though |
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| the world is crashing down |
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| 05:46am 11/11/2005 |
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mood: happy music: Ferocious Mopes
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I'm listening to punk goes acoustic. it's refreshing. I feel 14 again though.
not that it was soooo long ago or anything. but yeah. I started thinking about that like month or two we started skating, me marco and mona mostly, but we all sucked. we went to the skate park at sunshine(i think that's what it's called) and busted our asses. but had fun.
wednesday night was porneoke. it was fun. went to the select start show with regan first, and then from there went to max's got a little tipsy, and then to porneoke. it was fun. even though I still smell of smoke. and I lit my hair on fire a little. lol, yeah don't ask. sang some TBS. and MOTION CITY with nate which was fucking awesome. he's a total badass. I got twenty minutes of sleep, and went to school, did ok, except litle of third, 4th and 5th period I felt like ass.
now I'm listening to say hi to your mom. it always makes me feel best. :-) smile on berts face everytime I hear The Twenty-Second Century. no matter what mood I'm in. that's why I've taken up carrying my ipod everywhere in these days of lots of stress, frustration, and lonliness. I really want to see kathy. and james and ryan. I haven't talked to kathy all week. been busy, been tired. She's probably had a lot of stuff going on too. James, ha I want to be there for that nigga right now. ryan, he's a punk who cares, lol jk jk.
I was thinking earlier. about when I would move a long time ago. how I wouldn't really be so like home-sick or whatever, cause I wouldn't talk to anybody. I thought about doing that for like ten seconds, and decided it was completely absurd. it'd be nice if I wasn't so emotionally attached. as stupid as that might sound, or heartless. I kind of wish I wasn't. |
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| so it's pretty much been forever |
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| 11:42pm 06/11/2005 |
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it's so cute how ever entry I make has at least A sentece talking about how long it's been since I last updated. it's lj. it keeps like not going for me. wtf. I can't get it right. how's everyone doing? |
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| 02:53pm 17/10/2005 |
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we didn't have school today. it was nice.
I slept til about 2, and then got up and ate some cereal. Frosted Flakes, with bananas. it was the shit, lemme tell you.
this weekend was pretty sick. I enjoyed it very much and it was a nice break. went to adams party on saturday. and it was awesome. had lots of sparks and jello shots. Ali is the best! woke up in a lazy boy on the porch to I think the best morning (weatherwise) I've experienced in a longgg time. and then came home and had the best sleep ever.
it was good. I liked it.
I talked to Kathy Demarest last night. ya ya you're jealous. I've said like 1000 times I miss her but fuck it it's worth saying again. and we talked about the lake, and when she kicked her shoe in on accident. and went into it to find it in the freezing cold. ha ha, agh that crazy girl |
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| 08:01pm 15/10/2005 |
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mood:  lonely music: The Damnwells - Driving Across Texas
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today was cool.
woke up too early went to regan and ali's tea party. yeah
tea party. it was fun, but a little expensive for what it was.
oh well.
after that, I took my broke self with regan and lindsay to the shops by baywalk in st. pete, and it was a good time.
came home showered. and now I'm just waiting around to go to adam's party.
so this past week. I've been thinking a lot. and been down a lot. I really miss texas. and I really miss my lovers, and my TFA.
I love everyone here in florida. but this isn't my home. and I can't help but feel that :-(
I don't know what I'm gonna do. I really want to graduate. and I really want to go to full sail next year. and I really want to hang out with my friends here
but all that doesn't seem worth what I'm missing everyday in the place where I belong. i bet some of you are gonna make me feel like shit for saying that but whatever. cause it's the truth, and you should accept that I'm not happy here. so actually hold your tounge. don't say anything cause you'll just push me farther and faster. |
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| 08:53pm 11/10/2005 |
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music: Socratic - Tear A Gash
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so it's been a while since I've updated. dang. I was doing good
I'll fix it.
the past few weeks have been... interesting.
ok not really. just the usual.
the friends. the school. the parties. the sparks. and the vodka.
I'm sick though. it's kind of lame. stuffy noses and sore throats are for bitches.
or hardass puerto ricans.
homecoming was saturday. it was a crap load of fun. I'm afraid I don't have any pictures though :-\
what a let down eh?
I hear I rather handsome. but no one ever thinks they look even decent. I cut my hair.
nothing drastic. just the back. and thinned it out.
I've been thinking a lot lately. I miss some things way too much. I miss some of my friends maybe more than I should, but never the less, overwhelmingly.
I'm confused, but for now, I remain content |
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| 11:30pm 21/09/2005 |
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mood: lonely music: Driving In Silence - Forget
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so today. was suck ass.
ok well no not completely. I was just really tired and really wanted to be at home all day.
I don't know why. but I'm really enjoying chemistry.
we're not really doing anything all that interesting.
but it's a nice lift from the rest of school.
in english 4 we're taking this hard ass test. we get to use our notes... SUREEEE, but it's hard when you don't have all that much direction into which notes you were supposed to take. yeah. I'm lacking all right.I talked to Seth today. it was refreshing. I miss that kid. he's good to talk to. I miss lunch with him Karen Kristen, Kathy, and yvette. they were frickin awesome.
I miss texas a crapload, it's not even funny. I was looking at the back of osbournes shirt today, that I think was about someones tour. San Antonio. stuff like that. makes it even worse. it's ridiculous.
I really need to take a week out of school and go. fuck waiting til the next break or whatever.
agh.
if only |
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| It's been a while |
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| 02:22pm 18/09/2005 |
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mood:  tired
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I'm tryin to clear out the cobwebs. and maybe get a new layout. but on second thought, I don't feel like trippin with html right now. but... maybe. I dunno
anyway. how's everyone been? good I hope. Latley I've been reallly tired reallllly busy. Honors classes are a lot easier than I ever anticipated, but at the same time, more work. and online courses. they are grrrrreat girl lemme tell you! ha. so that's kind of been stressing me out. and then I been thinking a lot about some stupid crap that I shouldn't be thinking about, but trying to forget. maybe next year I will have forgotten.
today is Zack's birthday. I hope everyone remembered to wish him a happy birthday, because he's not 14 anymore... he's 15! and that IS a big deal, because it's zack. and he's to young for his own good.
Last night was pretty sweet. Dc North, Select Start, Fletcher, and Turning Lane were amazing yo. lemme tell you. after that went to tylers party. which was pretty cool. all those kids are fun. but then it got busted up, and tyler got arrested for giving alcohol for minors. Which suckkkks I feel so frickin bad!
I couldn't really sleep last night. kind of the couch. but more so thinking too much.
Taxi is own. I'm gonna go watch it |
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| 12:55am 31/08/2005 |
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mood: happy music: Her Space Holiday - Girl Problem
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Missed ya guys this past week.
been rather busy. actually not. but if I was that woulda been my excuse.
I'm still doing a lot better keeping up to date with this than before.
so me. where've I been?
kind of lost. I'm not exactly sure. I been thinking about a lot of stuff. about the past. and how hard the coming month is gonna be. and then throw school on top of that shit and dammmmmn son. my hair is gonna be falling out. I think only like 3 people know about my fear of mid september. yeah, something like that. I don't like to talk about it so much, so I haven't told many people.
so I'm staying home tomorrow. so that I may get caught up, and get ahead in spanish. I neeeeed to get movin on that shit before I'm stuck in highschool another year. ewww. School gets better everyday. I'm enjoying english 4 more. even though lochatta is a hardass. prices class however boring isn't as bad as the first two weeks. no more psych :-) sweet ass algebra teacher. Skoglund for some reason seems to be my most interesting teacher despite his constant ramblings. and Lourcey is fun. she sang missy elliot yesterday. lol. School is enjoyable again. and that's a very good thing. |
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| ouch |
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| 12:11am 23/08/2005 |
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mood: disappointed music: Say Hi To Your Mom - I'm So Tired
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I just heard one of the hardest things I've had to hear
in a long time.
and I feel completely ignorant
and stupid.
I'm crazy for actually thinking what I did.
and now I feel worthless,
and insignificant.
cause I don't matter anymore,
to one of the people I wanted to matter to most.
and Say Hi To Your Mom...
just won't work for this.
I'm in one of those moods,
where you're not sure what your feel,
cause you are afraid to feel.
"I'm so tired, I don't know what to do.
so tired my mind is set on you.
I wonder should I call you?
but I know what you will do...
You'd say 'I'm putting you on'
but there's no joke,
it's doing me wrong
no, I can't sleep
I can't stop my brain
you know, in three weeks
I'll go insane
no, I'll give you everything I've got for a little peace of mind" |
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| 10:17pm 22/08/2005 |
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mood:  weird music: The Flaming Lips - Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots
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today was alright. but then not
and I'm listening to the senior survival mix I made last week.
it's making me feel less bad.
I took too long of a nap
but I'm still exhausted.
I like the flaming lips.
I like school again.
I'm making a new shirt for tomorrow |
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